There is no room for you. Sorry, but we are full.
Where have I heard these words before? In the bible, of course, when Mary and Joseph were seeking room in an INN as she was about to give birth, and in the end, the only place they could find was a stinking, old barn.
This is the most common story known to most. Each christmas, this story is retold many times. As a kid I would enjoy seeing the drama unfold, in the skits put on by the youth group, and choir. Well, in the end, at times, that message does not really hit home to those that have never experienced that.
So, as of this week, my child and I have been able to encounter the same exact problem, as His parents did, in trying to find a shelter that will take us in, as my landlord, got upset over a carpet stain, and wanted my child and I to live in his basement which is not suited for any human being to live or sleep in. He pretty much was calling us trash and treating us so, even though there were two rooms upstairs for us to use. He then gave me the choice of either that or the door, I chose the door. In the end there were other factors, like the fact that he loved having his 50 something lady over and have rough sex, and enjoyed knowing that everyone could hear them. He did not care that my child overheard their noises and that was not something she needed to hear or even know that they were doing. The funny thing was that, the first question he asked me was if I had a boyfriend, and I was like," NO." He was like good, cause I do not want you bringing men over to have sex and I was like, what like, I am not going around sleeping with just about every guy plus my daughter is with me, and I would never do that, in front of her either; I mean imagine my telling her: " Honey, can you go outside and play while Tom and I have some privacy..." And no, I am in no way, going down that road, and am doing all I can to not fall for that same old trap again, by staying focused on God and my child.
In the end, We have been sleeping in a motel, the first night someone else paid for our room and last night and tonight I was able to pay for another room. MY daughter got scared last night, while we were on the road, and I was trying to figure out what to do, and she started crying cause of the thunder and the lightning. It broke my heart to hear her cry. But all in all, I am not sitting down idly, I have been to the police department, and I have called shelters myself, and up to now, most are already full. The police have done the same. as well. They even told me I could take my ex landlord to court and make him give me my money back! And that I should not pay any utility bills or rent to him anymore.
I have already replied to 5 postings on Craigslist and am waiting to hear back from someone. Am actively searching and am still employed, thank God! Am tired. too. And Scared, but who wouldn't. As any mother, worries, I am worried, yet I am also in survival mode and more importantly, I am doing what I can to provide my child with all she needs more importantly, Love.
Also, I am learning to lean more on God, for His guidance, and am learning that pride takes you no where. I am not wise enough, strong enough, but I will do what I can to find a new home for my child and myself.
Peace to all,
Angel4Eternity
