Learning about Forgiveness

Good day to all:

   I do not have internet access at my new home at this time and have been unable to post as much as I would like.
   Today, I would like to talk about forgiveness.   As a mother of a pre teen child, believe me, I am already awed by how much a mother is able to forgive her child/children, and at the same time wonder, why we as kids and even grown adults tend to do or say things that will only cause our mother's hurt and pain.
   Yet, the act of forgiving ones offenses, takes alot of gut.  You know how there are times, you end up saying something that ends up hurting someone you love or care about, and you immediately go and apologize to them?  What about the times, you do or say something to someone whom you dislike, or feel that they have offended you in the past?  I confess, having done so, up to this day, and admit to feeling good to a certain point before guilt starts settling into my heart, and I feel convicted of my wrong doing. 
   I am not sure how I am viewed by those closest to me, but I do have one friend, whom I love dearly, and hold in high standards, and I know that just as I am as much prone to making mistakes and or saying or doing crazy things or hurtful things, I cannot expect her to live a perfect, holier life than I, nor do I think she would expect the same from me.
  Some offenses, are easier to forget and let go of, but what about those wounds, we all have had inflicted at different periods of our lifetime, that have left a deep, gashing wound, whom no one else but you see and feel, besides God of course.
 I admit, that I am still struggling with forgiving certain things my adopted father has done, or said about me, to others, or to my adopted mother, yet overall, the hatred and bitterness I had in my heart at one point has diminished in ways, I could not have conceived of ever doing.  Yet, there are still some sour spots, in which, I even challenge God in saying," how am I supposed to forgive him this offense or this and this?"  I am not You!  I am just a mere, human being, with many faults and defects, yet You still are telling me to forive and let go!  How can this be! 
   Believe me, I have had some interesting arguments with God about injustices, and overall things that I have had difficulty in letting go of.  But in the end, I owe it to myself, a chance to live, free of all shame, guilt and fear.  I cannot and do not want my past to continue holding me back, into becoming the woman I am meant to be, the mother I am meant to be, the future wife I will be some day ( hopefully), and I have come so far in these past 4 years, and even now as my daughter and I have our daily arguments about boys, sex, and relationships, I still am striving to make sure, she can be knowledgeable enough to make the right decisions on her own, whenever she cannot rely on me to give her any answer to some question that might come up.
    My main issue in letting go has been towards my adopted father, whom in the end, I still love in some way, but he and I are never going to have that daughter father relationship most have.
   Yet I am willing to work on forgiving every little things, in order to get my life together and face whatever comes my way, with a resilience to fight the good fight, and never give up!