Learning to forgive.

At times, I wonder, what if I had a second chance to go back and change
certain events, decisions, and or choices, I've made along my road, that had
a negative effect on my life overall.  If I did, what would I change?
Is there really a way, in which we can truly exert total control over our mind, soul,
spirit, and body, without losing our minds?
Each hateful thing that has left my mouth, hurtful thing, offensive thing, disgusting thing,
to take it all back, would truly require my life  to be exposed to all.
What if our lives were posted on facebook, and everyone could see, all our bad moments verses
the good ones? 
Like the time you took a dollar each day from your mom's purse, or the time you sprayed some perfume on
yourself after being told, not to?  Yes, these might seem insignificant to some degree, but what about the secrets,
you rarely disclose to anyone, but those you trust, to not divulge any damaging information about yourself?
Isn't it funny, how in the political world, of reigning Kings, Presidents, Ministers, and all whom are regarded as high authority, play each other out by digging your worst hidden secrets, to blackmail you into playing a part in their plan of dominating certain things, that might cause humanity to become more lost.  How do we keep our lives, private, if the
FBI, CIA and all these other government agencies, have means of looking up anything they want, by just entering your Social Security Number, or name?
Imagine, your life being an open book, to all you know, how would you stand before your family, and explain, why, you lied about this occasion and that?
Do you think, you could be forgiven for each wrong doing, you have done or even just thought of against any person?
 This past weekend, I was let down by those I had deemed close friends, and as a second family to my daughter and I...
yet, when no one showed up for her party, I felt downright mad, and angry,  I wanted to scream at them, to bang my fists against something, and in the end, broke down in tears and wondered, where did I go wrong?
  It hurt so much, I almost gave in to just leaving the church all together, but in the end, I knew that I sort of jumped into planning this party too fast, and in the end, some people were apologetic, and I cannot harbor anger within my heart, and have decided to forgive every single person, family whom did not show up.
  Yet, if my life is an open book, which literally our lives are not hidden from God, and even for those who deny God yet believe in Aliens, ghosts and such, well whatever you believe, you should believe that Someone or Something can see every little thing you do, in hiding and in secret, and even our governments seem to have an eye on us....in the end, if i were to be put on trial, I would not hesitate to list all my wrongdoings and sins, because man judges by what he sees, God judges by what man cannot see, and its what we have within our hearts.
         Angel 4 Eternity