Proud of You....

Do you remember the very first time your mom or dad ever uttered those words to you?
How did it make you feel?  What emotion came first to mind?  Did they ever repeat that phrase throughout your lifetime?
I rarely heard it, most of my childhood years and rest of my life... Eventually those that would tell me  were either my teachers, or relatives.  Yet, even then, I would never believe them less would I care about what they would say about me.
All my life, my heart ached for the lack of parental love and affection I did not receive at home and I yearned to be the daughter they had always wished for.
I lost faith in them, and myself, and gave up, in hoping that a day would come in which at least one of my parents would utter that phrase to me.
So, when my mom pulled me aside the other day, and told me upfront, how proud she was of my accomplishments ect... I was in total disabelief, yet at the same time, in spite of what my heart had yearned for, all these years, I really did not react much besides thanking her and just being amazed by what God had done.
And also when she commented on this the second time around, I felt as if I had known all along that I was able to do more, and even if she and my dad had never been proud of me, I knew that GOd had always believed in me, and that is more important and valuable to me at this time.
 When they gave up on me, He picked me up, when they left me for dead, He brought me back to life, and now, even in the midst of this new storm arising,  I know, that God has not abandoned me, and He is slowly taking me out of living a life of contempment and into a life in which I need to realize, that I might never own my own house, yet that does not mean He will let my child and I live without refuge, but that as long as I trust in HIm, He will continue to provide me with a new place to move to.
  So far I have gotten one reply back and am expecing to get at least one more reply back by tomorrow in regards to moving into a new place.
  I pray it be a place just as good as this last one or even better!
               I have been crying and depressed but in the end I am thankful for being alive and that my daughter is recovering as well.
               And having her is worth more than having the best car, best home or any other thing, even money!
                    Angel 4 Eternity