Well, it seems that after a while of not hearing from my mom, she kindly sent me an email this past weekend stating that she is coming on over to the states this week, and needs me to pick her up, and provide a place for to sleep in before she heads out to help my older brother with my two little nephews.
So, sure, I am the only daughter she has had, and in the end, in spite of everything, we have had a few bonding moments, yet, what gets me, is the fact that in spite of her not wanting to accept that her, " Not so faithful husband", did what he did to me, she expects me to continue treating her the same way as before.
Now, even God has been teaching me about forgiving and letting go, and loving your enemies; I am sure some of you have heard of this, and yes, we are to do that, yet saying the words is the easy part, but doing it, is the hardest part!
I am working on doing this, and I have come a long way, yet at this time, I am feeling both betrayed and hurt, that as usual I am the last one to find out about her and my brother's plans. As always, I have to play the dutiful daughter part, as if nothing has ever been amissed. And it hurts!
So, right now, some of you might be thinking, " If this girl, says she is a christian, she might be the fall out type!", so yeah, could be so, but hey, I have stated, that no one can expect me to be the perfect, little, saint, and not have one spot of blemish in my life at this time.
Yet, I have the right to be angry and hurt too! The one thing, I will not do is act upon my anger and hurt, but to seek His peace and direction on how to proceed with this unexpected announcement.
For one, my parents, due to cultural background and religious beliefs, have not been told that I am currently renting a room within a home, in which a divorced man currently is living in to. Why? Well, the fact that I am living with a man, in his house, might not be something most parents would like to hear about their daughter. In the end, its not as if I did it because I already had some type of relationship with the guy, cause we didn't or don't! Yes, living with him, has kind of put both him and me, in a situation, which we both are treading carefully, because yeah, we both are attractive to each othere and we are getting to know almost every detail of each others lives, wether we like it or not!
In the end, I am quite happy, living here, and I do not mind his presence at all. He makes me feel safe and secure.
Yet, I am sure my mother will have a flip about this. I can just see her face, and right about guess what will be crossing her mind! So, the fact that I have witheld this information from them, well, I had my reasons.
And the fact that she will be going to my brother in another state, will bring more drama, in regards to her telling my brother and then begging him to come down on me, by telling me why I should move out immediately!
Yeah, perfect family right?
Well, I shall see how it all plays out in the end, cause I do not want her in my( temporarily) new home neither does her granddaughter! Of course I cannot tell her this because it might kill her!
Am I wrong to feel this way?
Angel 4 Eternity
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